healing

#ESMEINK : "Truth & Blockages" Day 2

brenebrown1

TRUTH

{Blockages}

"So, i'm stuck! I have all of these journaling ideas and topics, and while I know in my head how I feel about them, i'm having a hard time articulating and getting them written. Maybe the topics are too heavy. Maybe i'm afraid to face them? Maybe I've just got some work to do in these areas of my life. Turns out this is harder than I thought it would be.

Blockages, whether mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical, I feel are all the same. It indicates something is out of balance somewhere, and work needs to be done. It's really all the same. I could compare arterial blockage with writers block. OK. Obviously different, but still the same. Why is there blockage? where is it coming from? Did it start years ago-with a life altering event that pushed a person down a specific path leading to this problem? Or is it more simple than that? Fear, genetics. Or maybe just plain inexperience. I know everyone struggles with some kind of blockage at some point in their lives, possibly daily. I wonder how unaware of them we are until we are forced to look at them. Maybe i'm over thinking this.

Each topic I've chosen for myself seems to be a pandora's box waiting to be opened. But then I think-well, isn't that what I wanted? Isn't that the point in the first place? Why do I think that sitting down to journal should take a quick 10 minutes, and that the words will just come to me? Maybe they will. I'm sure after the first few days or after a week or so, routine will set in. They seem to be now! I will admit, once I get going its fun!

I've just decided in my head, that I will write about a particular blockage I have for tomorrow's topic. I have a chakra that needs addressing, and it's been on my mind a lot. It resides within the Base (root) chakra. "Tribe" is a word I hear a lot these days, and is very much a part of what this relates to. I think It's one that is a powerful foundation for every other chakra, and feeling grounded is key to being balanced in all of my other energy centres.

I'm excited to grow in this area. Long time comin', time for good lovin'!

{MANTRA}

I trust in myself to let insights surface effortlessly, and with great articulation.

I invite my soul to come forward, and break free of any blockages.

Find what feels good. Let it flow.

You've got this."

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise Marie-Johnson

 

#ESMEINK :"How I Feel Today" Day 1

happy

WHERE I AM TODAY

"Someone whom I'm inspired by wrote these words, and they comfort me today;

"Sometimes it is best to sit in the darkness. Sometimes tears, confusion and surrendering into NOT KNOWING is the best place to be. Sometimes the darkness and discomfort of not-knowing is the remedy for our souls to slow-the-hell-down and listen." -Kori leigh.

Today, i'm at a fork in the road. I know which way I am headed, but I'm going crazy with not being in control of when i'll be headed there, as well as the slight possibility that it may not happen at all.

My soul prompts me to visualize the future. I have always felt that visualization can help get me to where I need to be. I can't wait to get where I'm going to. Or at least, where I think I'm going. On the flip side, I feel really lost when I think I won't get there.

{disconnect}

I feel disconnected to Calgary lately also. Knowing where I am going is frightening and exciting, and consumes my daily thoughts. I've somehow put the breaks on everything happening in my life in Calgary. It's easier to say goodbye that way. It's a strange feeling. Coasting, waiting. I believe every feeling and emotion to be not only normal right now, but necessary.

{soul work}

I believe in the importance of balance in life. Homeostasis.

It is normal to want balance, and when we have blockages, or feel imbalanced or just plain crazy, then that indicates work needs to be done. I

have been off balance for some time. In my body, mind, and soul. So I'm starting here. Today. Soul. That is why i'm writing. I've never kept a journal. Ok well, maybe a few entries from time to time. I've written poems and songs, but never taken an inventory of my soul and guided myself in a ritualistic, disciplined way. I keep looking ahead, because I think it will keep me focused and ready. But these thoughts consume me lately, and they're not serving me well right now. I need to let go, and accept that if this big change doesn't happen, that it will be ok. I need to live for today, and not for the future. I need to have faith, that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. I have an amazing job, family, and am creating a beautiful circle of friends here in Calgary.

I'm letting go of the people and things that do not improve my quality of life, and that do not help me connect and feel grounded.

I'm pouring my feelings out and figuring out what it is that I really need and want. Because after all, If my heart is truly happy, it shouldn't matter where my heart resides. It resides within me.

My life tends to throw me curveballs when my eyes are closed. I want to be ready when it comes this time, because at least I have the advantage of knowing it's coming at some point. Plus, it's been a while since I've hit a home run. So yeah, i'm competitive by nature. I can compete hard with myself. I think that's healthy. Wether I remain in Calgary, or head closer to the coast, I will be ready for whatever is next.

I need to maintain balance by living in the now. My job is important and fun to me. I can't become too disconnected to the point that it stunts my growth. (just in case I was to stay). Daily writings will keep me present. So will yoga. So will work outs. So will clean whole foods. I will maintain balance as best as I can. I will check in with myself and allow all feelings to come through these pages, and accept all of them. I am here today for a reason. I love my beautiful life. I am blessed. I am ready.

{i accept}

I accept that right now, Calgary is home. I will meditate on that. I accept my physical being, exactly as I am. I will work to become the physical being I know I am, through self love, dedication and physical exercise. I accept that I have lots going on in my mind and soul, and commit to expressing feelings, and allowing myself to be vulnerable, and grow.

{mantra} I accept life today, and ME. I am here, I am now, I am present I am grounded."

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise-Marie Johnson