journal

Soul Q's

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SELF-LOVE{an inventory of the soul}

There is a deep, true connection between our spiritual being and our physical body. The importance of feeding our bodies with the right foods is a piece of the big picture, for sure. But today, I ask you to take a look inside. Nourish your spirit. Get a pen and paper. Create positive pathways in your brain by repeatedly focusing on a life of fulfillment, and what that means to you. Write it down, make it real. Create your destiny.

Fulfillment; To witness the fulfillment of a dream; to achieve fulfillment of ones hopes.

Do you live a life of fulfillment? Are you living a life for you? Do you live to serve others? Do you live to serve one? Is your soul satisfied with how and to whom you are serving?

Do you grant yourself time for self-love? How do you practice this ritual? What does your heart desire today? What is sacred to you? What do you want to change in your life? What is a quote that resonates within you? What is the best advice you have received recently? What advise would you give yourself today? What are you grateful for? What will you do to feel you are leading a life of fulfillment?

create yourself

-Lise Johnson

#ESMEINK : "Little Frustrations" Day 20

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LITTLE FRUSTRATIONS

{rant}

Day 1 of going to bed early-fail. Things came up in the evening after work, and I find myself finally sitting down to write my day 20 journal at 11pm. I'm already tired. My head has been pounding since  3pm.

I've also been a day behind in my journals for a few days now, since the Canada Day long weekend was so busy. It's playing on me! I don't like being unaccountable.

 I didn't get yoga or a workout in today, which I was really hoping for.

I feel discouraged tonight for some reason.

{praise}

Thank goodness though, I don't have bigger worries in my life tonight. If this is my only issue at the present time, then I'm ahead in life. Winning.

It was an amazing, busy day at work, with lovely clients.  Another win.

My kids had such a fun day at day home today, that they wanted to just stay for a sleepover! But we came home, and had lots of snuggle time before bed. Win, win.

We have another showing on our house tomorrow. Win.

I have the day off tomorrow to stay home. I will find time for yoga when the kids nap, or we'll do some yoga together!  {which would actually mean, I'm a mountain. Kids climb said mountain}

My candles are lit, and I'm finding calm in my head as I write. Win.

I'm going to crawl into bed in a minute to snuggle the man of my dreams. Huge win!

Good night world, that is all I have tonight.

dontstop

#ESMEINK Journal by Lise-Marie Johnson

#ESMEINK : "Life & Beyond" Day 18

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{Life & Beyond}

I'm opening up today's journal with a native american prayer that I just feel the need to address.

{ THE NATIVE AMERICAN PRAYER }

Oh Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds, and whose breath gives life to all the world-hear me-I come before you, one of your children. I am small and weak. I need your strength and wisdom. Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset. Make my hands respect the things you have made, my ears sharp to hear your voice. Make me wise, so that I may know the things you have taught my People, the lesson you have hidden in every leaf and rock. I see seek strength not to be superior to my brothers, but to be able to fight my greatest enemy, myself. Make me ever ready to come to you, with clean hands and straight eyes, so when life fades as a fading sunset, my spirit may come to you without shame.

This speaks to me on such a deep level.  Ultimately, I believe it means to dedicate one's life to become as attuned and connected as possible to the higher power and self. This is not easy. Daily journals have kept me more grounded and present than I've ever been  in my life.

But when life gets busy, it's so easy to miss out on beautiful things. Like a sunrise or sunset. The stars. The moon. Forgetting to work on self. It's easy to miss life's lessons when I'm not paying attention to those moments in-between thoughts. I must continue to focus in order to grow daily, and pay attention to "coincidences", as well as understand life's lessons when I recognize them, in preparing for whatever it is that may be next. Heaven, reincarnation, etc.

I feel, that this kind of life preparation is like "putting away a pension for the soul."

If I ask myself the question, "Im I prepared to die?", It first makes me cringe, but then also makes me realize that my answer would be "definitely not."

For obvious reasons, such as wanting to spend more time with my loved ones, and having so much I still want to do on this planet, I'm not ready to go. I'm not ready, because I want my soul to be prepared. Because when my soul leaves my body, It will be better prepared for whatever is next.

"Make me ever ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes, so when life fades as a fading sunset, my spirit may come to you without shame."

My body is a beautiful vessel that allows me to use my physical senses to experience joy in this life. I may not have those senses in the next chapter, so I want to use them as best as I can.

"let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset. Make my hands respect the things you have made, my ears sharp to hear your voice."

 

I want to continue to grow my spirit. When this 30 days of ink comes to an end, I do not want to have my efforts fall wayside. I want this to propel me forward into deeper spiritual growth. I want to meet more leaders and elders to learn from in this realm.

Today, I will begin to create a bucket list. I don't know what it looks like exactly, or how many things I will have on it. But I think seeing these things written down, will keep me excited and motivated to use my human vessel to achieve dreams, no matter how big or small they may be.

I'm starting to realize, how beautiful it is, to grow old!  And mostly, it's perspective.

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise-Marie Johnson

#ESMEINK : "Saying No & Going with the Flow" Day 17

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THE POWER OF SAYING "NO", AND GOING WITH THE FLOW

I have learned to say no. I am getting more comfortable with setting boundaries. I'm done feeling guilty for wanting what I want in life. This is self love! It's not selfish, and it's not hurting anyone else. I try my best to take care of other peoples feelings, but not to the point that I shove mine aside. Remembering…..In order to love others, I have to love myself first.

I've considered lately, creating a sacred space. A physical one. I have begun creating a scared space in my heart, where I can go when I need peace. It's where I ground myself, and meditate. It's where I find clarity. But, amidst the craziness in my life-and by crazy I mean amazing but busy-I would love to have a sacred space in my home that is mine. Where I can light candles. Read my favourite book. Soak my feet. Do my yoga, meditate. Really, whatever I need at the time. I want to feel like I have a place that feels far from home, that's not. Growing up, my mom had her sewing room. I remember her wanting a sewing room for years before she finally had one. A space of her own. Where she could make something beautiful. For herself. For her soul. It was kind of like a sacred space, that was just for her, not for us kids. Of course, as a kid I didn't realize that having a sewing "room" meant actually having a sanctuary that was kid-free, noise-free, stress free, and a place where she probably felt at peace, balanced and centred. It was a world of her own-just for her! So, I've decided. Now that our teenagers both no longer live here, I'm going to work on turning the spare room downstairs into a room that I can use whenever I please. I'm going to decorate it, maybe even paint it-it could use a fresh coat anyways- Put up pictures that inspire me. Gather my books and trinkets, cozy blankets and essential oils, sage, and set up shop for my soul.

Wow-So here I thought I was going to write about how "saying no" is empowering, self loving and important to health. I've touched on it, but felt more inspired to go with the flow today. And now I'm pretty set on beginning a new project. See, nothing is certain. The only thing certain in life, is change. Life is beautiful! Buckle up and just enjoy the ride they say.

I'm going to created a sacred space. Dive deeper into my spirit and bring more joy into my life.

Halleluja!

And a quote…..

"I now take my power back as I choose to respect, honour and love myself." -Trudy Vesotsky

gowiththeflow

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise-Marie Johnson

#ESMEINK :"Being Quiet + Letting Go " Day 14

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Today I feel there are not many words. I'm a bit stuck picking a topic, and nothing has outright slapped me in the face to inspire me like in the past week. So I leave it short and sweet today, simply checking in with my self. And I feel content. Happy. Somewhat more grounded and calm. I'm grateful. I'm at peace.

{PEACE.} It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, hard work, chaos, hardship, struggle, etc… It means to be in the midst of all of those things and still find calm in your heart.

{Lise-Marie Johnson}

....Hi, I'm Bekah Glass - and I write and manage this beautiful blog for Esme.

Along this #ESMEINK journey with Lise - each and every time I receive her journal entries - I am not only captured by her vulnerability - but also encouraged to share my own truth. There is such freedom in sharing ourselves with others - the victories, defeat, and grey confusing areas of every day life. I have felt the kind push of my heart and soul to begin sharing my own stories with you...and although today - Lise found a blockage in her writing ... I wanted to jump in and add on to her above journal entry...I may ramble, but hopefully i somewhat make sense...

In the midst of the chaos of life - quieting ourselves is one of the most powerful tools we hold control over. I grew up learning scripture in the southern US - the "bible belt" - and although I feel I've veered off the path of rigidness within religion- I still find life-giving truths from the things I've learned along the way. One of my favourite verses as a young adult was Psalm 46:10:

"Be STILL and KNOW that I am God."  

I have always struggled with the voices that surround me. I have found significance in others approval of me and great sensitivity towards negativity and judgement. The reason I always loved this scripture was because it calmed me - it reminded me to stop, regain perspective, block the voices of others, and be silent. However, recently I learned that the Hebrew meaning of this scripture actually does not mean to "BE QUIET" - but to "LET GO"...  this changed everything for me.

I am currently in battle with letting go of so many things - my past, my mistakes, who others EXPECT me to be, and who I MYSELF have expected to become.

Letting go is not losing your voice, goals, or heart ... it is simply granting yourself a little more grace.

Grace is one thing we all need to give freely with zero restraint...

especially to ourselves. 

So - stop, be still, have real conversations with your heart - ask yourself the tough, piercing questions... but also let go of the HINDERING energy, expectations...the PRESSURE. When we step into the space of allowing ourselves freedom to be quiet and explore - we cultivate vulnerability and get to know our own hearts.

Never quiet the longings within yourself - but try to let go of the pressure and restraint. Allow yourself to wander, learn, be curious...and also figure out what is best to release the power & control over ....to LET GO OF...we tend to find these answers in the quiet moments we spend with ourselves.

Let go and dive into yourself. Unrelentingly. Passionately. Unapologetically.

We invite you to join along with us in this personal journey of pouring out - we want to learn with you. A tribe of others that seek truth, personal growth, and new lessons - is such a beautiful group to be apart of....Please share your stories, struggles, and triumphs with us.

xo.

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Bekah Davis Glass & Lise-Marie Johnson

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#ESMEINK : "Creative Expression & Momentum" Day 12

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Creative expression and Momentum

{The throat chakra}

Last night I had a soul kissing experience! A good friend and I went to one of calgary's many paint nights. Not only was it a great way to enjoy a good glass of wine with a friend and catch up, it was 3 hours of being completely present. In the moment. Nourishing my creative expression. I would recommend it to everyone, and can't wait to go again. The throat chakra was given a dose of recognition. It instilled a bit of confidence in me that I didn't know I needed. The throat chakra is related to creative expression, willpower, truth, communication, integrity and the power of the spoken word. Through balance in this chakra, I know I can stand up for what I believe in, and have confidence and power to do the things I dream of. When the throat chakra is blocked, it prevents energy from rising up to other energy centres. Clearing requires a deep commitment to my truth. I believe these types of exercises to be helpful in my desire to educate and speak in front of crowds. Something I'm excited to be doing again in the very near future! I look forward to the many years of continuing to clear and nurture this chakra! Self love is ongoing, ever changing and beautiful.

{Momentum}

I've been feeling a very rapid, forward momentum in my creative side of the brain. Ideas are flowing, projects have taken on life, and my comfort in knowing that my future may reside in calgary for longer is very present. And that is good! All that I do, all of my efforts, are focused on my love for this city, raising my family here, building clan here, as well as my beautiful job.

"The concept of "home" is not just where one resides, but where the heart resides; in the purest depths of the soul. -Michelle Cruz-Rosado

(A special prayer in my heart goes out to my friend who invited me out last night to be a part of this creative experience-To your mother, who's place I took at your table last night, may she be at peace with what the future holds. Let comfort enter her soul, and let fear leave, knowing that she thought about by more people than she probably knows, and everything will be OK.)

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise-Marie Johnson

#ESMEINK : "Tribe + Loss" Day 10

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{Tribe and LOSS}

I'm going back to the base chakra again today. While I'm searching for some answers regarding my heritage and family history, I have been thinking a lot about someone who was a part of my clan for a very short period when I was only a young child, not able to understand.

Today, I mourn my sister, Dana, who moved to the other side-next life-heaven-whatever it may be. She was only a baby.

How strange, that someone whom I do not remember, or barely knew, has such an impact on my heart. The more the years go by, the more I feel connected to her soul. The more I feel the loss.

As much as this is a matter of the heart, to me, it's also a matter of "clan." There are many elements missing from where I came from, but missing a member such as a sister, makes me feel like there is more work at the base chakra before I move to the heart. She was a part of my adoptive family. My true clan. The beautiful people, who gave me strong morals, bestowed acceptance upon me, showed me what unconditional love meant and so, so much more.

I love her so much today. I feel the push to open up this box. To hurt, and to heal.

To grow.

My mom has always said, if I wanted to talk about her, or see a picture, to just ask. I only remember bringing the topic up a couple of times, and it brought my mom to tears. Her pain hurts me more than the loss I feel. A woman, who adopted, because she couldn't have children of her own. A woman, who had so much love to give, she was willing to love and raise a complete stranger, and give her life. And then, the miracle. Pregnancy, and the birth of a beautiful girl. Followed, by darkness. I don't know how a parent copes. I don't' know how they move on. I don't know how a marriage survives. It must be just love. Isn't love the root of all that is good? Doesn't love heal all things?

I'm grateful for the clan I have. I am saddened by the ones we've lost, the one's I have yet to find, and the one's to come.

I invite this sadness in today, to appreciate you, Dana, you young beautiful soul. You are missed, and loved. I hope to meet you once again, and truly get to know you. I invite sadness in today, to help me heal and grow strong. Healing occurs in the present moment. I will build roots, deep into the ground, not forgetting about you, yet honouring you and building a strong clan.

{Mantra} "OM"

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise-Marie Johnson

#ESMEINK : "Healthy Mind, Healthy Body" Day 7

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{HEALTHY MIND, HEALTHY BODY}

"Caring for the mind is as important and crucial as caring for the body. In fact, one cannot be without the other." -Unknown

Being "healthy" generally has a large emphasis on food and exercise. Often, what's forgotten is state of mind. There is, a definite balance between the three. For myself, when one of those is out of balance, I generally fall apart in some way or another. Sometimes for a day, sometimes longer.

This past year, I had to let go of some anxiety relating to food, to ease my mind.

While I was in school studying holistic nutrition, I became increasingly afraid of making the wrong choices when it came to food. Is it a whole food? Are there ingredients, and what are they? Sugar is poison, is the food I buy ethical and humane? Am I supporting local? Am I deficient in nutrients, what are my symptoms? The questions were endless, and they haunted me. These thoughts and questions built and built, and the worry for my children and husband were present too.

Why, having all of this new, amazing information, did I feel more worried than ever? I would think that being empowered to make the best food choices should put me at ease. Isn't knowledge power? It didn't' feel that way.

I started to feel anxiety for the first time in my life. I had no idea where it was coming from until I self-evaluated. I first began looking at other symptoms I had, and there were none, other than that, and exhaustion. So I realized I needed to support my adrenals. I needed to focus more on exercise, and less about the food.

Finally, it clicked. I was so consumed with how my choices of food would do me right or wrong, that I'm sure I manifested unnecessary stress, affecting my nervous system and adrenals.

I Truly beleive that constant worry or fear can manifest health problems. Our biography can become our biology. In other words,- when thoughts, beliefs or fears are thought about consistently enough, they create physical pathways in the brain, and can have an effect on our health at some point. However, just as these thoughts are created, they can also be addressed and changed. It's all the power of the mind, and the willingness to change.

My state of mind, has had a physical effect on my body. It does for anyone, when the situation allows. I need to listen to my body, but more importantly, I need to let go of fear.

We live in a world where food is plentiful. We have more food than we need. We have more choices than ever.

I know how to make choices that are right for my family and I. I just need to simplify. I've been working on meditation. Releasing fears.

I focus on how blessed we are to have the freedom to make choices. I will say YES to pizza. I will enjoy the slowness of food. Growing, harvesting, creating, sharing food.

Our culture has gotten so far away from the true pleasure of a meal; the experience. Who we eat with can bring us joy. Preparing a meal is so satisfying, especially when feeding others. It's so much more than just what's on the fork, and it's that thought that brings me satisfaction and peace. Besides, don't I have better things to worry about?

{MANTRA}

By experiencing the joy, and culture of food, I release fear, and take on peace

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise-Marie Johnson

#ESMEINK : "Truth & Blockages" Day 2

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TRUTH

{Blockages}

"So, i'm stuck! I have all of these journaling ideas and topics, and while I know in my head how I feel about them, i'm having a hard time articulating and getting them written. Maybe the topics are too heavy. Maybe i'm afraid to face them? Maybe I've just got some work to do in these areas of my life. Turns out this is harder than I thought it would be.

Blockages, whether mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical, I feel are all the same. It indicates something is out of balance somewhere, and work needs to be done. It's really all the same. I could compare arterial blockage with writers block. OK. Obviously different, but still the same. Why is there blockage? where is it coming from? Did it start years ago-with a life altering event that pushed a person down a specific path leading to this problem? Or is it more simple than that? Fear, genetics. Or maybe just plain inexperience. I know everyone struggles with some kind of blockage at some point in their lives, possibly daily. I wonder how unaware of them we are until we are forced to look at them. Maybe i'm over thinking this.

Each topic I've chosen for myself seems to be a pandora's box waiting to be opened. But then I think-well, isn't that what I wanted? Isn't that the point in the first place? Why do I think that sitting down to journal should take a quick 10 minutes, and that the words will just come to me? Maybe they will. I'm sure after the first few days or after a week or so, routine will set in. They seem to be now! I will admit, once I get going its fun!

I've just decided in my head, that I will write about a particular blockage I have for tomorrow's topic. I have a chakra that needs addressing, and it's been on my mind a lot. It resides within the Base (root) chakra. "Tribe" is a word I hear a lot these days, and is very much a part of what this relates to. I think It's one that is a powerful foundation for every other chakra, and feeling grounded is key to being balanced in all of my other energy centres.

I'm excited to grow in this area. Long time comin', time for good lovin'!

{MANTRA}

I trust in myself to let insights surface effortlessly, and with great articulation.

I invite my soul to come forward, and break free of any blockages.

Find what feels good. Let it flow.

You've got this."

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise Marie-Johnson

 

#ESMEINK :"How I Feel Today" Day 1

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WHERE I AM TODAY

"Someone whom I'm inspired by wrote these words, and they comfort me today;

"Sometimes it is best to sit in the darkness. Sometimes tears, confusion and surrendering into NOT KNOWING is the best place to be. Sometimes the darkness and discomfort of not-knowing is the remedy for our souls to slow-the-hell-down and listen." -Kori leigh.

Today, i'm at a fork in the road. I know which way I am headed, but I'm going crazy with not being in control of when i'll be headed there, as well as the slight possibility that it may not happen at all.

My soul prompts me to visualize the future. I have always felt that visualization can help get me to where I need to be. I can't wait to get where I'm going to. Or at least, where I think I'm going. On the flip side, I feel really lost when I think I won't get there.

{disconnect}

I feel disconnected to Calgary lately also. Knowing where I am going is frightening and exciting, and consumes my daily thoughts. I've somehow put the breaks on everything happening in my life in Calgary. It's easier to say goodbye that way. It's a strange feeling. Coasting, waiting. I believe every feeling and emotion to be not only normal right now, but necessary.

{soul work}

I believe in the importance of balance in life. Homeostasis.

It is normal to want balance, and when we have blockages, or feel imbalanced or just plain crazy, then that indicates work needs to be done. I

have been off balance for some time. In my body, mind, and soul. So I'm starting here. Today. Soul. That is why i'm writing. I've never kept a journal. Ok well, maybe a few entries from time to time. I've written poems and songs, but never taken an inventory of my soul and guided myself in a ritualistic, disciplined way. I keep looking ahead, because I think it will keep me focused and ready. But these thoughts consume me lately, and they're not serving me well right now. I need to let go, and accept that if this big change doesn't happen, that it will be ok. I need to live for today, and not for the future. I need to have faith, that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. I have an amazing job, family, and am creating a beautiful circle of friends here in Calgary.

I'm letting go of the people and things that do not improve my quality of life, and that do not help me connect and feel grounded.

I'm pouring my feelings out and figuring out what it is that I really need and want. Because after all, If my heart is truly happy, it shouldn't matter where my heart resides. It resides within me.

My life tends to throw me curveballs when my eyes are closed. I want to be ready when it comes this time, because at least I have the advantage of knowing it's coming at some point. Plus, it's been a while since I've hit a home run. So yeah, i'm competitive by nature. I can compete hard with myself. I think that's healthy. Wether I remain in Calgary, or head closer to the coast, I will be ready for whatever is next.

I need to maintain balance by living in the now. My job is important and fun to me. I can't become too disconnected to the point that it stunts my growth. (just in case I was to stay). Daily writings will keep me present. So will yoga. So will work outs. So will clean whole foods. I will maintain balance as best as I can. I will check in with myself and allow all feelings to come through these pages, and accept all of them. I am here today for a reason. I love my beautiful life. I am blessed. I am ready.

{i accept}

I accept that right now, Calgary is home. I will meditate on that. I accept my physical being, exactly as I am. I will work to become the physical being I know I am, through self love, dedication and physical exercise. I accept that I have lots going on in my mind and soul, and commit to expressing feelings, and allowing myself to be vulnerable, and grow.

{mantra} I accept life today, and ME. I am here, I am now, I am present I am grounded."

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise-Marie Johnson

30 Days of #EsmeInk : A Journey into Ritualistic Self-Love

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This is my ideal June morning. Let's pretend it's in Spain to make it even more ideal.:

30 days of INK

{A journey into ritualistic self-love!}

Esme Life invites you to join us, in a journey of self exploration.

An inventory of your soul. We're calling this 30 day journaling challenge, 30 days of INK {a journey into ritualistic self-love}.

Lise-Marie Johnson is Esme's C.H.N certified holistic nutritionist. Lise came up with this beautiful idea and we couldn't be more excited to take a little time to get intentional and reflective. Below Lise has jotted down her heart and thoughts behind the journey ahead: 

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          "Holistic nutrition has a large focus on our food. I love the powerful properties of food, and I love even more, feeding my soul what it needs. I'm talking self love, peeps. How do you love yourself?"

          There is a delicate balance in life, that when is off even slightly, it seems that walls can come crashing in around me. I am at a point in my life where my spirit needs growth, nurturing and  self-loving attention. This has inspired me to start this 30 day challenge. I have always loved the ritualistic ideals of self love, self care, self-evolution, and find it hard to always follow through. Let's face it. Life is busy and ever changing. I am not where I expected to be if your asked me where I thought I would be, even as little as 5 years ago.  If this speaks to you, or if  you already journal/blog,  or if you want to try something new, or if you feel like you are missing balance in your life, or if you feel like this may be something that inspires you, then please, join me in this vulnerable, delicate act of self-loving, soul kissing and cleansing 30 days of growth. I will be {vulnerably} posting my daily writings for viewing. I am not a writer. I am not an editor.  I am simply wanting to find clarity and direction, and grow as a human on this amazing planet, and to hopefully inspire others to do the same with our tiny bit of time we have here.

What I think I will be writing about……Where I am today. Where i've been, where I am going. Fears, desires, LOVE, who am I really, vulnerability, goals, accountability, acceptance, and more.

What I'm certain I will write about….. I cannot be sure.

You are more than welcome to follow my topics and write about them yourself, in how they apply to your life. Or take the wheel and write what speaks to your beating heart!

We hope you will take this journey with us.

#ESMEINK begins now.... 

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