personal story

#ESMEINK : "Creative Expression & Momentum" Day 12

throatchakra.jpg

create

Creative expression and Momentum

{The throat chakra}

Last night I had a soul kissing experience! A good friend and I went to one of calgary's many paint nights. Not only was it a great way to enjoy a good glass of wine with a friend and catch up, it was 3 hours of being completely present. In the moment. Nourishing my creative expression. I would recommend it to everyone, and can't wait to go again. The throat chakra was given a dose of recognition. It instilled a bit of confidence in me that I didn't know I needed. The throat chakra is related to creative expression, willpower, truth, communication, integrity and the power of the spoken word. Through balance in this chakra, I know I can stand up for what I believe in, and have confidence and power to do the things I dream of. When the throat chakra is blocked, it prevents energy from rising up to other energy centres. Clearing requires a deep commitment to my truth. I believe these types of exercises to be helpful in my desire to educate and speak in front of crowds. Something I'm excited to be doing again in the very near future! I look forward to the many years of continuing to clear and nurture this chakra! Self love is ongoing, ever changing and beautiful.

{Momentum}

I've been feeling a very rapid, forward momentum in my creative side of the brain. Ideas are flowing, projects have taken on life, and my comfort in knowing that my future may reside in calgary for longer is very present. And that is good! All that I do, all of my efforts, are focused on my love for this city, raising my family here, building clan here, as well as my beautiful job.

"The concept of "home" is not just where one resides, but where the heart resides; in the purest depths of the soul. -Michelle Cruz-Rosado

(A special prayer in my heart goes out to my friend who invited me out last night to be a part of this creative experience-To your mother, who's place I took at your table last night, may she be at peace with what the future holds. Let comfort enter her soul, and let fear leave, knowing that she thought about by more people than she probably knows, and everything will be OK.)

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise-Marie Johnson

#ESMEINK : "Change" Day 11

perfection.jpg

progressCHANGE

{name it so you can change it}

I thought naming what sucks was a good topic on it's own. So, today I'm going to name it to change it again.

To say that trying to be a mom with a career is hard, would be an understatement. If i'm being honest, some days I want to throw in the towel. I think part of it is the age of my kids. They require lots of attention, love and teaching, and are not in school full time. Another part of it is time management. I know I could definitely do better in this area. I love being a mom. Wouldn't wish for my life to be any different. I only wish for strength and wisdom to do it better. I feel the same way about my career.

{symmetry}

Finding balance in all things in life, is an ongoing process. Juggling family and career is just one of them. When I put too much effort into one, the other suffers. Sometimes my mood determines which one I exercise my focus on.

I know the key to maintaining balance, is knowing when I've lost it. Paying attention to symmetry in my life. Putting all of my eggs in one basket, could be described as a bit extreme. But I want the best of both worlds. I want to be the best at everything I do. It's in my nature.

I am learning for sure, that taking time to live life-like, really LIVE, will only inspire my work. So maybe that's just where I should put more focus.

Also, I have to remind myself, it's okay to turn work off to live the life you dream of.

I think all I can do is be my best at whatever is is that I'm doing at the present moment.

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise-Marie Johnson

perspective

#ESMEINK : "Tribe + Loss" Day 10

grief

{Tribe and LOSS}

I'm going back to the base chakra again today. While I'm searching for some answers regarding my heritage and family history, I have been thinking a lot about someone who was a part of my clan for a very short period when I was only a young child, not able to understand.

Today, I mourn my sister, Dana, who moved to the other side-next life-heaven-whatever it may be. She was only a baby.

How strange, that someone whom I do not remember, or barely knew, has such an impact on my heart. The more the years go by, the more I feel connected to her soul. The more I feel the loss.

As much as this is a matter of the heart, to me, it's also a matter of "clan." There are many elements missing from where I came from, but missing a member such as a sister, makes me feel like there is more work at the base chakra before I move to the heart. She was a part of my adoptive family. My true clan. The beautiful people, who gave me strong morals, bestowed acceptance upon me, showed me what unconditional love meant and so, so much more.

I love her so much today. I feel the push to open up this box. To hurt, and to heal.

To grow.

My mom has always said, if I wanted to talk about her, or see a picture, to just ask. I only remember bringing the topic up a couple of times, and it brought my mom to tears. Her pain hurts me more than the loss I feel. A woman, who adopted, because she couldn't have children of her own. A woman, who had so much love to give, she was willing to love and raise a complete stranger, and give her life. And then, the miracle. Pregnancy, and the birth of a beautiful girl. Followed, by darkness. I don't know how a parent copes. I don't' know how they move on. I don't know how a marriage survives. It must be just love. Isn't love the root of all that is good? Doesn't love heal all things?

I'm grateful for the clan I have. I am saddened by the ones we've lost, the one's I have yet to find, and the one's to come.

I invite this sadness in today, to appreciate you, Dana, you young beautiful soul. You are missed, and loved. I hope to meet you once again, and truly get to know you. I invite sadness in today, to help me heal and grow strong. Healing occurs in the present moment. I will build roots, deep into the ground, not forgetting about you, yet honouring you and building a strong clan.

{Mantra} "OM"

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise-Marie Johnson